


This is your sword (and I’ll raise mine)

by ReddieR2



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 322 potential spoiler, Angst, Emotions, Feelings, Hurt, Not Canon Compliant, Ouch, Pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-26 17:18:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3858613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReddieR2/pseuds/ReddieR2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't own - blah blah.  I saw the 322 promo and this little thought wouldn't let me alone</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own - blah blah. I saw the 322 promo and this little thought wouldn't let me alone

Diggle spoke up first, impatient to get to the point and get this meeting over and done with  
“What is this about Malcolm?”  
Malcolm Merlyn replied carefully and clearly  
“This isn’t going to be easy for all of you to believe”  
Felicity looked Malcolm Merlyn full on in the face and responded with firmness  
“Only because you are a sociopath and a liar”  
Malcolm inclined his head to indicate that she had scored the point she had aimed for  
“In your eyes, I’m sure it appears that way. I have only today received information pertaining to the League” He paused taking in all of their faces before uttering words that blew Felicity’s world apart  
“My sources have told me that the Heir to the Demon is to marry”  
Felicity eyes flew to John’s, her eyes wide with shock and horror as Laurel shook her head in disbelief  
“What? Why? And who would they even find that would agree to it?” Laurel queried  
“The daughter and former Heir to the Demon, Nyssa al Ghul, will marry the Warwraith, who you will no doubt remember as the former Oliver Queen, Al Sah-Him.”  
“No” gasped Laurel “She would never do this, she would not agree”  
“She will have no choice” Malcolm asserted “but it will not end there”  
Felicity briefly flicked her eyes shut, she felt nauseous and wondered how much more she would need to hear.  
“Go on, what else?” she spat out. In reality it came across to the others in a normal tone.  
John’s eyes never left Felicity’s face as Malcolm continued  
“Following their marriage, the Heir will come to Starling City to unleash death upon his former home, as a mark of his commitment to destroy the life he held before he joined the League”  
John shifted his focus fully to Malcolm to search for any clues of his playing them.  
“Oliver won’t do that, he wouldn’t allow that to happen” Laurel replied lost in thought  
“He was told that those he cared about would be kept safe, he did all this for Thea, he wouldn’t destroy the city she was in after he had gone so far to save her life. It doesn’t make sense!”  
Felicity rubbed her forehand with her hand, not wanting to believe Malcolm and struggling to make sense of all that she knew about Oliver and the League  
John rubbed his hands up and down his face before voicing what no-one wanted to acknowledge  
“Well, they and he have sure as hell shown that they are more than capable. Are you sure?”  
“And the League is definitely psycho enough for this type of thing to be in their repertoire. I mean, what sort of creepy, sick bunch of weirdoes would come to kill the daughter of their crazy Leader, if they hadn’t already lost it and weren’t on some massive power trip, or coerce someone to join by targeting their friends and family for death, for that matter” Felicity took a deep breath before fixing Malcolm Merlyn with a hard stare “but just because the League is capable of this major atrocity, it doesn’t make what you are telling us true”  
Malcolm shrugged to show he did not care if they believed him or not  
“I wish I could say that I had made all this up but unfortunately it is yet another blow I have to deal to my daughter”  
“Oh my god Thea” Felicity breathed out before clamping a hand in front of her mouth to fight the ever increasing nausea  
“Wait, you can’t really be thinking of telling Thea this right?” Laurel glanced at Felicity and Diggle for support  
Felicity just put a hand to the top of her head and exhaled slowly, trying to keep her breathing regular and her emotions in check as much as possible  
“Lying to her would not a smart option right now” Malcolm stated  
“As much as I hate to agree with Malcolm at this moment, he is right” confirmed Felicity much to Laurel’s displeasure  
“Oh, you have got to be joking!!” Laurel looked around desperately “John?”  
John put his hands on a table in front of him and leaned into it, shaking his head slowly  
“Seems to me, she has been kept in the dark for a mighty long time about a lot of things and if memory serves, she doesn’t really handle it well” he stated quietly exchanging a long knowing look with Felicity  
“Hasn’t she been through enough already?” The words seemed to explode from Laurel  
“Of course she has” reasoned Felicity “but does that follow that we should continue to do to her, what has already been done and give her reasons to not trust us?”  
Laurel threw up her hands in defeat and swore “Fucking hell!”  
“Tell me about” said Felicity while John nodded in agreement


	2. Processing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continuing on from the last chapter, Felicity finally gets home.............

Felicity had finally given up trying to work on intel at the office and had made her way home, dragging herself through the door as the weight of the day and it’s revelations made itself felt on her body. She fell against her front door to close it, shutting her eyes and slowly allowing her legs to give out and slide her body down the door. She took off her heels and threw them aside, she would normally have been much more careful with her things but she now felt bone tired and all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and forget that this day had ever happened. Malcolm’s revelations echoed through her head.  
_The Heir to the Demon is to marry - The daughter and former Heir to the Demon, Nyssa al Ghul, will marry the Warwraith, who you will no doubt remember as the former Oliver Queen, Al Sah-Him _  
The words reverberated around her head, like a litany, and she couldn’t escape them, couldn’t hide from the hurt that kept slicing through her, each echo slicing a new invisible cut open.__

She lost track of the amount of time she sat there, long enough to get more than a numb butt, her body and muscles protesting when she staggered unsteadily to her feet. She just wanted to fall into the longest dreamless sleep and never wake up again but knew that wasn’t an option. Digg would want to see her, make sure she was still whole. She would never tell him that she hadn’t been whole since they had left Oliver in Nanda Parbat, but she had managed to put one foot in front of the other and drag herself out of bed because Oliver was still alive. He was still alive. But he had left her existing, trying to pretend that she was ok, that everything was ok to the world, to her friends. She stared unseeingly at herself in the mirror, caught up in memories, of telling him she loved him, of the way he looked at her, held her, kissed her, touched her. She shook her head to stop the images. She removed her make up and all traces of Felicity Smoak, VP of Palmer Tech before standing under the shower, hoping that the water would revive her, bring back her fight, her strength. The images came back though with alarming clarity, as if they had just happened but instead of him holding her face, brushing back her blond hair, the hair was dark, the face more exotic, the face of Nyssa and she couldn’t stop the dam breaking and her pain expanding and surrounding her. The tears mingled with the water, the pain tore through her as though she was being mauled by a huge creature, she gasped and had to put her hands against the wall to keep herself upright but even then she didn’t succeed and ended up leaning over gasping at the relentlessness. She stood beneath the punishing spray until all her tears had been rung from her. Her throat ached, she felt sore, beyond bruised and battered, drained of everything but she eventually shut of the water and fumbled into her pajamas and towards the sanctuary of her bed.

Her bed wasn’t the sanctuary though and even though she felt so exhausted her mind wouldn’t stop torturing her, wouldn’t allow her to shut down and sleep. It just ran through everything that she didn’t want to think about but she was too tired to control her thoughts and they overwhelmed her, pointing the finger, mocking her, judging her, louder and louder. She felt like a small boat being battered by a storm unable to escape. She tossed and turned for what felt like forever before going in search of relief. She sought it in alcohol, a lot of alcohol, she kept drinking until she became numb, and would have cried with relief but she had no tears left, she carried on drinking until nothing, blackness, blissful darkness and peace.


End file.
